30 Years

Tomorrow I turn 30. Which means that this is the last day of my 20s. I'm trying to figure out how I feel about this. My 17 year old self would be curled up in the fetal position crying. I remember when I thought turning 20 was old and the end of the world. So why do I feel so much better about 30? 30 is supposed to be scary. I'm supposed to feel the time-crunch and wonder what I've been doing with my life and looking back at all the things I haven't done. Thing is, looking back, I pretty much high-five myself for everything I've done because those things have led me here.

I'm 29 and 364 days old and I live in a foreign country which is all I dreamed about when I was 17 year old me. I have amazing friends from all over the world. Wherever I go I feel loved. Though complicated at times, I have my whole family and they are always there when I call. I have had bad relationships which have led me to appreciate the best relationship I (or as far as I see it) anyone has ever had. I have more stamps in my passport that I can count. I have a job that allows me to feel young. Kids make me laugh everyday and I'm able to make real connections. I'm in the best health and physical condition of my life.

So, I guess I'm ok with 30 because I feel lucky to be where I'm at. There are things that I still want to do. There are places that I still want to see. But I'm only 30. I have lots of time for that.

xx